6 Secrets to Crushing Your 2019 Resolutions
I find that most people fall into one of two categories when it comes to New Year Resolutions. They’re either 100% into it and spend all of December dreaming up the magical possibilities that the coming year will bring… or they don’t even entertain the idea of setting resolutions, and scoff at the concept that one simple day could encourage us to change our whole lives.
And personally, I think both of these methods are wrong.
Category number one may spend time daydreaming about what the coming year holds in store, but they sometimes forget to put in the behind-the-scenes work that should go into our resolutions before we even create them. And, well, category number two just needs to be a tad more optimistic, amirite?!
Research has shown that only 8% of people actually accomplish their resolutions. So if you want to become one of those people in 2019, you’ll have to put the time and effort in up front to set goals that truly light you up and work for you.
And today, I’m spilling the secrets of how to make it happen.
Forgive yourself for failed attempts
The past is in the past, sister. We can’t change it; we can only forgive ourselves for the mess-ups and move on.
Am I the only one who has been trapped in this cycle before?
Set new goal
Fail at said goal
Convince myself I’m not worthy or capable of accomplishing goal
Start again from beginning
It’s so easy to get trapped in a cycle of setting the same goal for ourselves over and over when we don’t get our desired results, but eventually, that cycle begins to take a toll on us. We convince ourselves that no matter what we do, we cannot accomplish the goal.
And yet, every few months that go by, we find ourselves setting the exact. same. goal. Even when it’s clearly not working for us or serving us.
So this is your chance to rid yourself of any negative feelings you may be harboring around failed attempts - and realize that the problem is not in you, the problem is in the goal you’re setting.
Forgive yourself for setting a goal that didn’t serve you. Remember that the world is still spinning. And move on!
2. Realize that you can do it
Now that we’re over our past, it’s time to realize that we are freakin’ capable of anything.
When people say “you are capable of much more than you think you are,” they aren’t lying! The thing is, we get so uncomfortable with change that we actually convince ourselves that we can’t do it.
Change is hard. We expect that it’ll be difficult going into the goal, but there usually comes a point where we decide to spend the night cozied up watching Netflix rather than going to the gym because it’s comfortable. And then we get trapped in that comfort and think that we just can’t accomplish whatever we set out to.
It’s crucial to realize that change is greater than comfort.
And although change is hard, you can do it.
So let’s change that popular phrase to, “you are capable of much more than you think you are (it’s gonna suck and be uncomfortable but for real, you’re capable).”
3. Ask yourself these questions to figure out your values and passions
Setting goals is like dating someone - it’ll only work if you’re really into it.
That’s why it’s crucial to get clear on your values and passions before you even think about what goals you want to work towards! Go beyond the thoughts of “what’s most important to you in life” and take it a step further with these questions:
What are a few things that truly light you up?
What are a few things that really don’t serve you?
When was the last time you had an aha-moment? What were you doing at the time?
What are some areas of your life you’d like to enhance?
Asking yourself these questions will bring your values and passions to light, and make it easy to think up some ideas of what you can work on based on your answers.
4. Set goals that are based around what truly matters
Remember how I said before that the problem isn’t you, it’s the goal? Well, this is your chance to find a goal that serves you better!
Based on your answers from Tip #3, what goals can you strive towards?
And, here’s a secret… if you really want to accomplish those goals we talked about in Tip #1 that aren’t serving you, you still can. Try reframing them by adding something in that relates to your values or passions.
Here’s an example:
Goal that didn’t serve me in 2018: Exercise more often
Goal I’ve set for 2019: Exercise 3 times per week because long walks always bring me the most creative inspiration!
Now, I’m associating exercise with creativity — which is one of my most important values and passions! So whenever I think about going to the gym but consider watching Netflix instead, I can just think about how inspired I’ll feel afterwards (and how uninspired I’d feel for binging FRIENDS again!)
5. Strive for progress, not perfection
When’s the last time you had this stream of thoughts:
“I’ll wake up an hour early tomorrow and go to the gym”
“After the gym, I’ll shower and make a nice, healthy breakfast”
“After breakfast, I’ll do some yoga/meditation before getting ready for work”
And so on…
The issue with this method of planning is that you’re making each task rely on the one before it. So, what happens if you don’t wake up an hour early? Do you still make time for the gym that day and eat a nice healthy breakfast? Or do you just say “well, I already blew it for the day, might as well just have some Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast!”
In order to stick with our routines and finally accomplish our goals, we have to strive for progress, not perfection. Our days won’t always be perfect, but we should always do the best we can to continue working towards our goals even if something doesn’t go as planned.
6. Plan, plan, plan!
My final piece of advice for you as we head into 2019 and work towards new, refreshing goals is to plan!
My favorite way to start out the new year is with a new journal! I love filling it up with my goals for the year and my thoughts/successes every day. Get into the habit of journaling about your progress, thoughts and ideas and it’ll make planning your next day so much simpler.
It’s also important to set yourself up for success — plan each day in advance (but don’t worry if something doesn’t go exactly as planned - tip #5!) and do small things like setting out your gym clothes, lunch for the next day or planning out your outfit in advance!